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标题: 大虾们进来指点一下,看此开发信写的有意义不
生命里的鞋子
高级会员
Rank: 4


UID 217195
积分 9460
帖子 476
福步币 30 块
阅读权限 60
注册 2007-3-31
来自 杭州
状态 离线
大虾们进来指点一下,看此开发信写的有意义不

刚刚写了一封客户开发信,大家觉得怎么样


Dear sir,
   Have a nice day!
   We are SHANGYU XINHUA ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE CO.LTD, and we locate in Shaoxing ,Zhejiang, China. We mainly manufacture auto accessories like jump start, car vacuum, car fan, air compressor, PH meter ,spot light, emergency light, working light ,camping light ,and etc. All our products have passed CE and RoHS . Our products enjoyed a good market in Europe, USA, Australia, and Britain . We put quality and service first , and are looking forward to cooperate with companies who care quality and service most.
   Your early reply will be much appreciated.
 Best wishes;
   
                        Lisa
         SHANGYU XINHUA ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE CO.LTD  
   (Web: http://www.zj-xh.com )
   TEL: 86-575-2038958
   FAX:86-575-2031686

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XIAOJINYU
福步比邻
Rank: 1


UID 227492
积分 373
帖子 66
福步币 10 块
阅读权限 10
注册 2007-4-23
来自 湖北
状态 离线
个人觉得一般.....
表打我啊,

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生命里的鞋子
高级会员
Rank: 4


UID 217195
积分 9460
帖子 476
福步币 30 块
阅读权限 60
注册 2007-3-31
来自 杭州
状态 离线
我就把重点的那些东西写了一下,不知道客户看了会有什么样的想法

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xinyue1986 (ivy)
福步比邻
Rank: 1


UID 228542
积分 1492
帖子 163
福步币 10 块
阅读权限 10
注册 2007-4-25
来自 广东广州
状态 离线
这样你觉得怎样?
Dear sir:
        Have a nice day!
        We write to introduce ourselves as one of the leading manufacturer from China, of a wide range of  auto accessories ,such as:jump start, car vacuum, car fan, air compressor, PH meter ,spot light, emergency light, working light ,camping light ,and etc.
       We put quality and service first . All our products have passed CE and RoHS ,which have a ready market in Europe, USA, Australia, and Britain !we are  looking forward to cooperate with companies who care quality and service most.
      Your early reply will be much appreciated.
      Best wishes;
      Lisa
      SHANGYU XINHUA ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE CO.LTD  
  (Web: http://www.zj-xh.com )
  TEL: 86-575-2038958
  FAX:86-575-2031686
   这样怎么样?

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marktwin1
福步比邻
Rank: 1



UID 96917
积分 2336
帖子 111
福步币 12 块
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-6-1
状态 离线
我的意见,请看我的版本

TO :  XXX COMPANY LTD
TEL:XXXX
FAX:XXXX

DEAR SIR
HAVE A NICE DAY!
We are SHANGYU XINHUA ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE CO.LTD, and we locate in Shaoxing ,Zhejiang, China.PLS KONW SOME DETAILS ABOUT US
PRODUCTS :jump start, car vacuum, car fan, air compressor, PH meter ....     
         
MARKEST: in Europe, USA, Australia, and Britain

DLY DATE :  XXXXX

MINI QUANITY :XXX

QUANLITY : WE OFFER BEST QUANLITY OR WE CAN COPY YOUR REQIURYMENT

PAYMENT: T/T OR L/C AT SIGHT

OUR MOTTO: TO SHARE GOOD SERVICE AND COMPETITIVE PRICE 或者TO GET MORE CUSTOMER ,TO EARN  LITTLE PROFIT

PLS CONATCT WITH US IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION ,AND WE HOPE WE CAN MAKE BUSINESS ONE DAY.

THANKS AND BESR REGHRADS

LISA

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生命里的鞋子
高级会员
Rank: 4


UID 217195
积分 9460
帖子 476
福步币 30 块
阅读权限 60
注册 2007-3-31
来自 杭州
状态 离线
感谢楼两位大虾的支持,不错,值得借鉴

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lulu8899
高级会员
Rank: 4



UID 182093
积分 6925
帖子 421
福步币 40 块
阅读权限 60
注册 2007-1-11
状态 离线
5楼主的写得不错,学习中

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PED\MDD
福步比邻
Rank: 1
认证工程师



UID 164224
精华 1
积分 10569
帖子 1350
福步币 2 块
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-12-2
来自 上海
状态 离线
en  恩,都不错的哦,学习拉

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windyday2005
中级会员
Rank: 3Rank: 3



UID 216093
积分 4075
帖子 193
福步币 10 块
阅读权限 40
注册 2007-3-28
状态 离线
小声问一下,为什么联系方式写在对方公司下呢?

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TheFlyingCat
福步比邻
Rank: 1



UID 168791
积分 1668
帖子 119
福步币 12 块
阅读权限 10
注册 2006-12-12
状态 离线
To: xx company
Atten: Managing Director

Dear Sir/Madam

I have your mail address from your website, which is a very modern optical glasses website. I am writing to you for the establishment of business relations.

We have the pleasure of introducing ourselves to you as a professional optical frame manufacturer that has been producing optical frames for over 20 years. We are located in Wenzhou which is one of the biggest optics industry cities in China.

Optical frames, metal frames, kids frames are our main products. We can provide all kinds of optical frames with best quality at the competitive price.

Pls let me know your specific requirements for quotations. Looking forward to long-terms, fruitful and stable cooperatrion.

Best Regards,

name
xx CO., LTD
TEL:                            FAX:
http://                         E-MAIL:
Msn:                            Yahoo Messenger:  


我觉得楼上3位都不错,等会我再综合一下,再把我自己的改良一下.

至于我为什么要写 atten :managing director,是因为一般我们发过去的信都是给客服看的,写了收件人的称谓这样比较有针对性点.所谓上次某某人说的right time, right place, right people!

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styongjia (基度山)
论坛元老
Rank: 6Rank: 6
伯爵



UID 138457
积分 70504
帖子 5330
福步币 141 块
阅读权限 120
注册 2006-9-23
来自 Shantou Guangdong
状态 离线
开发信最好能有具体的称谓
有“如何得知对方公司”
有针对性的内容

也就是说,每一封开发信都应该是新的,这样成功率会高很多。

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